sal ganuth

“Get out of the water you fools!” shouted the cafe owner at me and my mates.
In reply, we just laughed louder. Splashing each other in the harbour water, our school uniforms soaked through. All five of us had been in high spirits all day and it got out of control when we got on the bus back from St Austell to Mevagissey at the end of our last day at school. Ever. I’m not sure who suggested it but we all went along without any hesitation… “Get off the bus in Meva, run down to the harbour, drop our stuff in a heap and jump into the harbour.” 
“Last one in the water….” It seemed such a good idea at the time. And it was. It was great fun. We screamed as we ran through the village, shopkeepers and tourists alike looking round at us, unbelieving, yet getting out of our way. All five of us speeding downhill. Then ripping off jackets, rucksacks, shoes and jumping into the harbour. Lots of people sat at the quayside cafes, looking round, shocked, then some amused, laughing and pointing as the five of us splashing and dunking each other under the water. Then us taking ties off and waving them over our heads shouting.
Then Loz shouting, “Get Dan.” It had been Dan’s birthday on Sunday, you see, and we all tended to do what Loz said, without thinking. Without even thinking what “Get Dan” actually meant. But we all closed in on Dan and took our cue from Loz who grabbed Dan’s shirt and started to pull it off, buttons ripping and popping under the strain. It didn’t take long for the shirt to disintegrate and then Dan’s school trousers were the next target. Dan’s hands holding tight around the waist of them, not wanting to be dacked in front of fifty or more tourists on the quayside. This is not cool for an 18 year old school leaver. But Dan lost the fight with his trousers and they were ripped from him too.
Loz shouted, “Get ready to lose those boxers, Dan.”
Dan pleaded, petrified, “No Loz. Guys, no, please!”
I looked between Loz and Dan, thinking, ‘No, he won’t, not in front of all these people.’ That would be way too humiliating and so OTT even for Loz. But the cold water must have affected his, and our, brains. Dan didn’t move, and I didn’t think to say “Not a good idea, guys.” Looking back, I guess that was me in self-protection mode, because if they stopped stripping Dan then they might have stripped me and I definitely didn’t want to end up stark bollock naked on the quayside in broad daylight. So I kept my mouth shut, and watched, as Dan said goodbye to his boxers.  Naked, except for his socks, Dan cupped his hands over his junk. At least we were waist high in the water at this point. But then Loz, Mark and Baz headed to the metal ladders and started to climb out, leaving me and Dan in the water. Dan looked at me pleadingly and all I could manage was a “Hey Dan, walk proud, and keep your hands on your junk.” What a prat. Me, that is.
To be fair, that’s exactly what Dan did do. He climbed up onto the quayside with the crowd pointing cameras and phones at him, naked and soaking wet. I was behind him, soaking wet but fully clothed. His white wet ass in full view. Just then, Dan bent down, one hand on his junk and took his socks off one by one, dropping them there on the quayside. There’s something not quite right about a man naked, apart from socks. At least that must have been what Dan had been thinking. But Dan did look funny walking along the quayside in front of me. I guess Dan hoped to retrieve some clothes from the others when he reached the pile of rucksacks and shoes but they were several steps ahead of us, and they picked up everything, including my stuff and ran off. This left me only shoeless, but Dan was left stark bollock naked and running barefoot after them along the quayside to the cheers and hoots of the holidaymakers. And that was when the cafe owner shouted at us again, “Bloody hooligans!”

It was hard work for me, and I’m sure it was even harder for Dan, to keep up with Loz, Baz and Mark. They had their shoes on and could squelch along the streets faster. 
“Fuck, they’re gonna get away”, me shouting the obvious to Dan, leaving Dan naked and no keys, and me keyless too. “WTF?” And then they did just that, disappear. Dan stopped and looked round, unsure which back lane they had charged down and when I caught up with Dan I had no idea either.
“Dan, we need to get off the street. Why don’t you come back to mine? We can at least hole out in the garden until my mum gets home. Then I can lend you some kit so you can get home without you showing your bum off to the whole village.” Dan didn’t say anything. Just nodded. I guess he was relieved that his naked nightmare would soon be over. We were only a couple of minutes away from my home and we made it there safely, with only a few shouts and whistles along the way.
We got back to my house and into the back garden. Dan stood there, the sun on his naked skin, facing me. Me, in my soaking wet school uniform.